Funny, Funny Stories From my days at Eden, P.D.
By Michael D. Martin, E.C.P.D. Retired
About the author...Michael Martin (pictured front row, far right in the 1981 photo) is a retired veteran of 25 years on the Eden City Police Department, and has penned a number of anecdotal writings recalling his experiences.
II. When Shorty Ate The Cat!
I can pin the date of this tale to almost a certainty, it was November of
1967. We had voted to consolidate the towns of Leaksville, Spray and
Draper into the City of Eden and there was progress being made in
consolidating the three police departments into one building near the
traffic circle at Spray. I had the good fortune to be partnered with the
toughest man I ever knew, Clarence W. "Fat" Vestal. I have
no idea where he got the nickname "Fat" because he was five
foot, nine inches tall, two hundred and twelve pounds and there was not a
scrap of fat on his body.
In 1966 and 1967 when I rode with Fat, we worked
the third shift, cause both of us worked day jobs. Police Officers were
not paid much back then. Fat always brought his nickle plated Harrington
and Richardson .22 pistol and it was always loaded with .22 shorts. Back
then, when the second shift got out of the mills and the third shift was
safely working in the mills, a strange thing happened.....everybody went
home, The only people moving were late night lovers, people with problems
and burglars. When things quieted down around three AM,
Fat would go "Rabbit Hunting" around the far edges of the city.
We would look thru fields and shine the spotlight looking for the shinning
pink eyes. Fat would put a .22 short between them and I would go fetch the
rabbit. When we got five or six we would go have a "Rabbit Fry"
at the old Sheriff's department where there was a kitchen. Great fried
rabbit, rabbit gravy, biscuits and RC colas from the vending machine.
State, County and local officers from all over would come by for a meal.
Very close to moving time, I was working the
Spray beat by myself and I was patrolling the Flint Hill area when I saw a
big, beautiful buck rabbit sitting on the side of the road and just as I
passed, I heard a "thump" and I said "aw naw" no no
no!..I stopped the squad car and found a fine rabbit, he had jumped and my
bumper had broken his neck. I picked him up and wrapped him in my
newspaper and put him in the back floorboard. At this time, the only
people left at the Spray station was our dispatcher and a fireman named
Demus Agee. Things were getting moved to the new central HQ. I
cleaned the rabbit, washed him and quartered him and put him in plastic
baggies and put him in the freezer at Spray. We got real busy for the next
two weeks moving and I forgot about the rabbit. One night Fat and I were
patrolling and I thought of the rabbit and asked Fat if his wife, Louise
would cook the rabbit for him and he said no, you take it. So we went to
the fire station and went to the fridge.......and the rabbit was gone. We
rode around the rest of the night and decided that Demus Agee had eaten
the rabbit and late in the morning, we decided to get even. We knew that
our dispatcher, Shorty Dunnovant was a friend of Demus's and Shorty was
working that night so we went to the office and got in Shorty's room and
began to laugh and slap our legs. Shorty asked, "what are you two
clowns laughing about?" and I told him..."me and Fat got a call
to Carolina Heights last week, and an old woman had a sick cat she was
scared of and wanted it done away with, Fat shot it and I took it to the
Spray office and cleaned it and cut it up and put it in the freezer and
that fool Demus Agee ate it......Shorty stopped dead, his face got white,
then it got kinda greenish looking and he said....uurrrph!! oh god ummph
and he made a dive into the bathroom and grabbed the commode, he laid
there for a full five minutes, heaving. Me and Fat were getting scared
when he finally rolled over and looked up and said "you two....you
two would actually do that, wouldn't you??" Fat asked, "What's
the matter Shorty," and he said..I eat that blessed old sick
cat!...later on, when he had regained his composure a little, I couldn't
resist...Shorty, tell me, exactly what does a cat taste like??? Shorty
looked a little pale...and finally said, I guess it tastes a lot like a
rabbit.
Me and Fat had to ride this one a little
and we told everyone about Shorty eating the cat but Shorty was the best
dispatcher we had and we decided to tell him the truth, Shorty thought we
were lying just to get back in his good graces and Shorty died believing
he had actually fried up and eaten an old sick cat.